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Writer's pictureTheresa Baxter

The Hang-ed Nail



Off, damned nail! Off I say

One toe, two toes, the nail is frayed

Tis time to clip it, my sight is dim

I fear I’ll miss and cleave a limb!

I’d just been to the nail salon

All hanging frill should now be gone

But dull beautician on a whim

Did miss that I had much to trim

I wail, they fail, to cut that nail

And now I leave a bloody trail

Do not they know my day is ruined

As I feel this nail will ne’er be pruned!

No more I’ll go, I won’t return

If they implore, their claims I’ll spurn

Here’s the spot of blood seen still

Oust stain? No detergent will

Oh oh oh, I must not flail

Just take the shears, cut off that nail!

No one’s come to save the day

I need to get it out my way

Then such relief and off to bed

It’s not like I’m removing head

A drama queen, like Dame MacBeth

Such fuss, you’d think I faced down death!

Come on be done, I won’t impale

Be brave and snip that curs-ed nail!

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