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Office Christmas Party

There is an annual event

Loved by the hale and hearty

It celebrates your cubby mate

The Office Christmas Party!

Most of the time at office dos

There’s little to report

Maybe some drink tad too much

Just hijinks of that sort

But they are nothing when compared

To job-ending disasters

The kind that are “not-safe-for-work”

(That make HR move much faster!)

Often they are fueled by booze

It gets most folks in trouble

When the bar is open wide

We’re drinking only doubles!

Perhaps it is an office crush

That long inside you’ve carried

Do not now profess your love

(Especially if they’re married!)

Now is not the time to air

Your peer group petty grief

People want to live it up

Not rehash meeting beefs

But perhaps the worst of all

Of office bash transgressions

Is when you want to tell your boss

The things you dare not mention

The list is long and that’s because

Your job you need to save

You keep it bottled up inside

You take it to the grave!

But some have waited all the year

It’s time they gave this speech

They think the party atmosphere

Gives cushion to their breach

And long before last call is called

What’s left is throbbing head

And barely there a memory

Of career that now is dead…

It’s best at office functions that

You not let lips get loose

My best advice is skip the booze

Stick to cranberry juice!

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