There is an annual event
Loved by the hale and hearty
It celebrates your cubby mate
The Office Christmas Party!
Most of the time at office dos
There’s little to report
Maybe some drink tad too much
Just hijinks of that sort
But they are nothing when compared
To job-ending disasters
The kind that are “not-safe-for-work”
(That make HR move much faster!)
Often they are fueled by booze
It gets most folks in trouble
When the bar is open wide
We’re drinking only doubles!
Perhaps it is an office crush
That long inside you’ve carried
Do not now profess your love
(Especially if they’re married!)
Now is not the time to air
Your peer group petty grief
People want to live it up
Not rehash meeting beefs
But perhaps the worst of all
Of office bash transgressions
Is when you want to tell your boss
The things you dare not mention
The list is long and that’s because
Your job you need to save
You keep it bottled up inside
You take it to the grave!
But some have waited all the year
It’s time they gave this speech
They think the party atmosphere
Gives cushion to their breach
And long before last call is called
What’s left is throbbing head
And barely there a memory
Of career that now is dead…
It’s best at office functions that
You not let lips get loose
My best advice is skip the booze
Stick to cranberry juice!
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